Lonesome but definitely not lonely!

As my retirement nears, what I fear most is that I might have no one to talk to... with my kids all having their own lives, my friends, still busy in the old grind, no more clients to interact with etc, etc. Just a little way back, as I was in my usual monologue (as I always wont, despite being with my besfren), my besfren  told me ... hey, actually you are a loner ( huwat!!! my gregarious self, a loner?!) then it dawned on me!! I enjoy being by myself, talking to myself.. indeed. When I look back, there were times I would eat by myself in our very crowded cafeteria not minding the fact that I was eating by myself (and people asking me who I am with, as if being lonesome is lonely) and thoroughly enjoying it ( which others find bizarre, hahaha). I have been in marketing for the past 30 years, and consistently doing something for more than 2 weeks truly becomes a habit, such that maybe one could develop into something actually not what the person really wants to be but what circumstances drive her to be! eureka moment! am I making sense?! This reminds me of one of the lessons of my son in Northridge way, way back which really stuck..... Juan in school, must be Juan at home. Maybe it is difficult to untanggle what has been ingrained thru years of exposure, but hey, it's a challenge to try. So now, as the d day fast approaches, I would have much, much time and wherewithal for real self discovery. I thorougly enjoyed my past 37 years in banking but I want to embark on a self discovery... what am I really passionate about, who and what is the real moi? Peel off the layers of vassarism ( private joke) and expose the real retired and beautiful me, hahaha. Lonesome but definitely not lonely!!!! whoohuuu!!!!